I have this really bad habit of running away. Or maybe, avoiding is a better term, while I have the notion of being honest. 
Sitting down with my friends and talking about deep topics over ramen partially sums up my Saturday. As the conversation progressed, I realized (not for the first time) that I had to solve/face the problem. 
What the fuck am I doing to do for the next four years? 
Maybe you're wondering (or maybe not), if there was really a need for vulgar language. Maybe further down the post you'll see there is; I've got a feeling this one is going to be a long one. 
Yeah sure I'm going to college and so far it's been good. Yeah sure I know what I want to do for graduate school.
When people ask me what I'm going to major in, I just blank out. As I'm typing this, definitely some blacking out going on. 
I have no fucking idea. I'm so clueless and confused to the point where it pisses me off, bothers me all the time, jabs me in the back of my mind and devours my thoughts. Undergraduate degree, 4 years, paid in full. However you look at it, it matters to a point. And the worst part is, cold weather is coming so that just naturally means negative thoughts trail along with it. And that means less productive thinking and more, distractions. 

Where do I go from here?