731

One Piece Chapter 731

So many feelings and just nowhere to put em'

Its true its true its true
all this time
can't think straight
too amazing..

thank you Eiichiro Oda :'

カラフルワールド

Absolutely in love with Tomohisa Sako's video for Colorful World. (or more like totally in love with him) 
He looks so happy ~ ^^ ~
Please watch it if you'd like for some cuteness and smiles ^^

Colorful World

Days of Mon

I always feel like I'm inclined to feel a certain way about Mondays. Either happy with expectations for the week or just constant dreading for the start of it. Today, or rather, yesterday, was really exhausting. I felt myself deteriorating at a faster rate and it was very troublesome. And then my perfect schedule for spring semester was changed because one of the class time was altered. I was unconsciously waiting for a trigger, and as trivial as it seems, that was it. 

And then I just spent the next half hour or so bawling. I went to sleep for what I thought was days turned out only to be an hour. I stopped sleeping but I wasn't awake. The world was still a beautiful, horrible place. 

It's cold.

I'm cold. 

風立ちぬ

The other day I got a chance to see kaze tachinu with one of my good college friend. It was really really amazing, of course no less than you'd expect from Studio Ghibli or Miyazaki San.

So if you have the time and opportunity, please watch it to the very end.

げんきです，でも， ちょっと，つかれた

Whiling patiently waiting for autumn to arrive, I realized it was already winter. Autumn never came. That left me with an empty feeling in my stomach. Or maybe it's because of my lack of lunch. 
Standing on the train platform, all I could hear was the sound of wind singing and yesterday's rain. Christmas is coming again and so are my friends from out of city colleges. I should be excited and happy. I should be blasting Christmas music singing along loudly until my parents tell me to shut up. I should be asking people about what they want for Christmas. 
But I always feel like this when the weather starts to get cold. I hate it. I hate it so much. 
I don't have time to feel upset. I'm tired. Again. 

I have this really bad habit of running away. Or maybe, avoiding is a better term, while I have the notion of being honest. 
Sitting down with my friends and talking about deep topics over ramen partially sums up my Saturday. As the conversation progressed, I realized (not for the first time) that I had to solve/face the problem. 
What the fuck am I doing to do for the next four years? 
Maybe you're wondering (or maybe not), if there was really a need for vulgar language. Maybe further down the post you'll see there is; I've got a feeling this one is going to be a long one. 
Yeah sure I'm going to college and so far it's been good. Yeah sure I know what I want to do for graduate school.
When people ask me what I'm going to major in, I just blank out. As I'm typing this, definitely some blacking out going on. 
I have no fucking idea. I'm so clueless and confused to the point where it pisses me off, bothers me all the time, jabs me in the back of my mind and devours my thoughts. Undergraduate degree, 4 years, paid in full. However you look at it, it matters to a point. And the worst part is, cold weather is coming so that just naturally means negative thoughts trail along with it. And that means less productive thinking and more, distractions. 

Where do I go from here?

Yui

Today I thought about Yui. Then, I got upset that I will never get a chance to see Yui on stage as YUI. But then I started to get upset at myself for being selfish. I'm sure Yui is enjoying her new step in life to become flower flower. She is still singing, for herself and for her fans. And then I re-watched her message to her fans on her vevo channel. 
She is such a kind hearted person. She is so courageous. Her music is, so amazing. And I mean, she is perfect. 
I'm sure I'm not the only fan to get their spirits lifted when listening to her music. 
And wow I apologize for my incoherent sentences and blabbing thoughts, it's just a rush of appreciation and grateful-ness.

I've reached another bump in the road and just trying to get over it might take more effort than I have, so I'm glad I can still turn to Yui and her music. 
And now I even have flower flower ~ 
So I'm really excited to listen to their music and to see how Yui is doing. 

Green Tea Latte

As I tried to turn up the volume of my music so I can hear it over the square dancing music in Bryant Park, I began to realize. I chose to stay in the city so I could find myself, but I haven't found anything and I'm beginning to feel impatient. As for the next step, I'm not sure what to think or better yet, what to do. Spending my college days idyllically seems like a foolproof plan but what do I do? I know precisely what I'd love to do after college, but what do I do now? What I want to do won't pay. I'm envious of those around me that are passionate about what they want to accomplish, or really just passionate. In the end, I just sat at Bryant Park for a few hours drinking Green Tea Latte. 

September weather really is the best. 

Thank you Miyazaki-san

It is always such an amazing experience and time well spent when I watch your movies. I would like to thank you, as well as Takahata-san, and everyone at Studio Ghibli for your generosity in sharing with us your talent and imagination. Even though it is not easy to say goodbye to your wonderful films, I'm glad you will have time to rest well. Please enjoy your retirement. Thank you again for sharing with us different beautiful worlds through your eyes. 

missing reminders

Anything was possible back then. 

does it matter?

"I'm not sure which road I should take" Alice said
"Where do you want to go?" ask the Cheshire Cat
"I don't know" Alice replied
"Then it doesn't matter" Cheshire said

Green Tea Kit Kat

Today was my first day at work. It wasn't tiring when I was working, but I'm home now and I just can't wait to pass out. Maybe I just need better shoes to stand in, converse don't work really well. I met some pretty cool people and I'm looking forward to working with them.
But I already made a mistake, even though the customer didn't mind, still it was embarrassing and just plain bad. Hopefully I make no more of it. 
The best part of my day was probably eating a Green Tea Kit Kat. Goodness hubba bubba (I don't know, I'm tired). 
It is so so so amazingly fantastically wonderfully awesomely delicious.  

The High School Prom

I didn't go to. 
Today I went to see Epic with Nancy, Crystal, Lily, Ying and Vivian. It was a very good movie, I would definately recommend it. Then we wondered around 34th st aimlessly and it was very slow. Then we went to the food gallery and spun coupons from Red Mango. Then we went to Olive Garden super early because we thought there would be a wait time but we ended up starting dinner at around 5 o'clock. Food was good, no doubt about that. Then we walked around Urban and H&M and finally to the train station. With laughs and more laughs along the way, today was a very fun day.

Song II

Summer had just begun
and the heat is already unsettling 
The young and old head toward the sun
But I just want to let down my thick hair and sing to you

I'd pick out a nice dress and ask you out
I'll make it dance with the wind
You'll calmly tell me it looks pretty 
But that's when I'll start to cry

I wonder if this time 
the place is just right or perfect
I'd pick it and you'd just go along
or are you secretly upset about its distance?

We'd do everything and anything you'd want
And thats when you'll smile at me saying 
You'll have fun, as long as you're with me
But that's when I know you're getting ready to leave

And when you start to go,
You'll walk around the flowers 
That's why they will always
Reach toward you season after season

If one day,

If one day you became my camera, you still wouldn't be able to see what I see because you're never looking. And it wouldn't matter how much I zoomed in or out because you're never paying attention. You'll never be able to understand my contentment of a good captured memory because you never took ours to heart. And if I tried explaining to you how important this is to me, you wouldn't hear me because you're never listening. And if I reached for your hand, you would turn away because you don't care.

You never did. 

Annoyances

You know what I don't really understand is the ignorance of people. When we were little, we would always say "it's none of your beezwax" when we would poke our noses into two girl's conversation. Worse case scenario, we would tattle tail on them on the teacher and they would, well, mind their own beezwax. But there is no more telling on them when you get older. People need to understand that whatever happens to two other people is really none of their business. If they want to share, then they will. And if you're asking because you care and just want to know of the situation so you don't say anything stupid, go ahead. But we are not a show. We don't need to report to anyone. I don't need to hear stupid remarks and your opinion. The only reason you should be voicing your opinion is if I so much as ask for it. I'm already drowning in guilt and your stupid little ignorance I really don't need. Within juggling everyday irritations, I need to deal with figuring out what the hell I'm going to do. And I know you're trying extra hard to not to say anything but it shows on your face oh so clearly what you're thinking. But for not saying anything, I appreciate that. But, some people really need to put their noses where they belong. And it is not in my or our business. 

Mind your own damn beezwax.

his friend

I wish I could make a new friend today. She blew the dandelion. He said that if he wasn't there to make her wish come true, all she had to do was find a dandelion, make a wish and blow all the fluff away. Fluff, that's probably not what its called but he didn't want to look stupid in front of her, she thought. Where have you gone? I need someone here to make my wish come true, not have fluff make miracles happen. Where are you? 

As she watched the fluff dance with the wind, rain started to fall. She grabbed her bag off the ground and began running. If she had stopped to look at the nearby farmer's market, she would've been able to shelter under one of the tents. But she kept running in the direction of her wish. Stopping in front of lonely spot on the ground with soaked white fluffs, she started to cry. They have not traveled far enough to reach him, to tell him to come back and help her grant her wish. Stupid dandelions..

Rain didn't seem to have a sense of time and she didn't seem to have any either. But the rain finally stopped. Bending down, she tried to pick up what remained, but only touched the cold and lonely cement ground. Please. Please come back. Even if you don't know where to find me, are you searching? 

Without any awareness of her surroundings, a cat came and began to lick her hand. A grey cat with remnants of orange, it looked almost like her: cold, lonely and wet. The cat looked up at her and used his head to brush against her hand. The girl scratched the cat's ears. He made a face of what seemed like a smile. Sitting down on the wet fluffs, he looked up at her. Laughing, the girl picked him up. Thank you for finding me. 

Ruby

Today I went to go get a haircut at Sal's (I hope that's how you spell his name ^^"), Samantha goes there a lot and she suggested I try it out. I went first and got a pretty good haircut, so it was fun ~ Afterward, I sat there and waited for Sam to get hers and a cat walked into the room. Her name is Ruby. The first time, she climbed the chair next to mine and sniffed me. This was the first time a cat has ever been so friendly with me. She licked me; I always thought cat's tongues were like sandpaper, but I guess I was wrong. She left the room after sniffing me some more. Minutes later, she came back and started sniffed my knee and my armpits. I guess she didn't mind the smell so she made herself comfortable on my thighs. She used her head and tried to move my hand so I could give her a nice cat massage. I spent a good 15 minutes sitting there scratching her, she's soft ~ And sometimes her tail would kind of move around in a circle. She was really enjoying it when she had her eyes closed, almost smiling. I was upset I had to leave her because she looked so relaxed with my prescense and I was very happy being with her too ~ I felt like she was trying to tell me something but totally forgot when I started massaging her. 

Even so, I know Sal is a great cat friend and he'll take awesome care of her. He's a pretty cool guy and Ruby is in good care. 

This one was a change of pace huh. Good night ^^

Google is so sweet ~

CHE.R.RY

Seeing all these beautiful flowers continue to bloom makes my heart flutter ~ 

"When it's time for the flowers to bloom, they'll bloom. 
When it's time for spring to come, it'll come" 

Irritations

and I'm here walking on the bridge
that arcs peacefully above the waters
I don't hurry to stop
but the brick loosens and down I go
The bridge sinks free-form
Toward the sky I reached
A breath of air I take
and I drown.

Metanoia

metanoia n. the journey of changing one's mind, heart, self, or way of life

"Will the day come when I can again see 
The precious things that were broken? 
My remaining scars won't disappear 
I've got to get going already Until I reach every place"

Doramachikku- YUKI

"I'll take the paths respectively 
Now, a crossroad 
Without ever turning back again 
My feelings run too far
For just how long have I taken upon myself 
The same words? The same words?" 

Supuritto- Suneohair

20130407113328 5.0x

20130407113328 5.0x a video by hiha+ on Flickr.

I wonder where the clouds look like from where you are. And are you enjoying their presence like I am?

Spring Spring Spring

Whenever I think about calc being my last class, I get excited to leave school. But recently, I've gotten even happier. The last seat in the last row, where I sit, to the left is a blooming cherry blossom tree. It's beautiful. Everyday it continues to bloom more and more. Being able to, consecutively observe it's growth leaves my heart at ease. I just wish I was a bit taller so I could see the whole tree instead of the tip. 
Today I went to Gloria's house with Rachel and Emma. It was a lot of fun~ It was the first time actually hanging out with them outside of school and its a nice change of pace. I learned so much and they're really awesome ~ I'm super excited for college so I will be able to put myself out there (non-aloof-like) and experience more times like this. ^^ 

"When it's time for the flowers to bloom, they'll bloom. 
When it's time for spring to come, it'll come" 

MAY, may you come quickly ~

May is the month. 

I am super excited to hear Flower Flower. 

I think YUI looks awesome ~ ^^

HURRAY ~ ^^ ~

さくら荘のペットな彼女

Such a beautiful anime.
So beautifully awesome.

Title-block

I have completed the playlist that I will probably keep for a while on this blog. I hope you guys like it ^^

I really wanted to put some YUI songs, but they get deleted so often on youtube. These songs are from animes, though I have yet to watch Kimi ni Todoke. It was hard to narrow it down but since there is no limit so I'm not exactly sure why I placed one. In any case, these are four of my favorite favorite songs, so please listen to the end if you'd like ^^

Recently, I'm constantly reminding myself that one day my hard work will bear fruit. But I guess I'm just waiting for someone to reassure me of that. Sometimes my own persuasion doesn't work well on me. 

夏雪ランデブー

Right after I finished this week's Magi, which was very amusing to watch, I continued to watch some Naruto Shippuden. I think it was around, 2:30, I started a new anime, Natsuyuki Rendezvous. Reading the synopsis several times, I decided (several times) that it wouldn't be an anime that wouldn't be any good. Boy, was I wrong~ At around 7:00 I successfully finished this eleven episode awesomeness~ 

I'm not sure where to start, I've never been good at giving summaries of animes, so please search that on your own~ The art is very nice and for every episode, you'll unconsciously wish for some things to happen and you'll have to keep watching to see if it happens~ Each person's voice actors fit very well. I guess my feelings are still a bit jumbled so my words are all over the place. Please excuse me ^^" 

Opening and ending song are awesome~ I couldn't root for any one person because in the end, I just wanted all them to find happiness. All in all, I think this anime is really good so, if you'd like, please watch it til the end. ^^ 

Song

The sunlight is brighter than yesterday
But surely that doesn't bother you
As you try to listen to the song of the waves
You're really crying inside aren't you?

You've worked hard to be where you are
But is it where you've wanted to be?
Years have gone by without your consent
And now you've wondered what have become of yourself.

They've told you to stop believing
Hoping will only leave your heart in pieces
But you want to trust in your story
Writing has left yourself in doubt.

Humming your favorite songs on the train
You want to be just like the melody
The flowers grow in hopes of reaching the sky
You will be the flower that reaches.

The clouds that pass by ease your wavering heart
You wonder where they will end up
Wherever they will be, is where you will be
Under your favorite blue sky

Shared Wishes

I would like to live in a song,
Don't worry, I won't be gone too long.
Would you listen to me then?
You can press replay again.
Can you learn the lyrics beforehand?
So I won't be as lonely as planned.
Will you be smiling when you do?
I very much like that smile on you.
From the song you can quote,
It would be me in musical notes.
But when the end comes near,
Wouldn't I have to disappear?

LXXXII

It's not senioritis, for sure. It's, something more like a halt in my school career. I guess I shouldn't worry myself over it because it has happened once a year since, freshman year? Or should I worry because it happens so frequently? And then I start thinking too much which leads to craving sleep all the time. It is getting more and more difficult to continue my days like so. 

Even so, at the end of the day, watching anime, singing, listening to music, listening to YUI...I guess these are the strengths that leave my heart at ease. 

Dear YUI, ありがとう

The first thing that comes to mind while I try to re-write this letter of gratitude is I hope one day I can translate it fully into Japanese so that it will retain the meaning that I would like it to.

Watching your interviews, concerts; listening to your music, makes me smile. Not only are you beautiful, but so strong and awesome~ You really are amazing. 

When I read the translations of your songs I know you're singing with your heart, singing for yourself and for your fans. And for that I want to thank you a thousand times.

You saved me, a thousand times and more. When I walk through the park, when I'm laying on my bed, when I'm going through challenges, you and your music are always with me. Your talent has given me the strength and courage.

When people ask me my favorite song that you sing, I become so troubled because I fall in love with every single one of them. I might have to split my love for each of your songs but they are still overflowing~ 

My friend gave me "I Loved Yesterday" as a Christmas present, and I would also like to thank her along with this message. I hope she gets it.

I watched your interview for going on hiatus. I know you will accomplish all you set out to do.   I hope I can, along with your fans, give you the strength when you need it. Ganbare YUI~ 

Enjoy yourself to the fullest~ We will be here, patiently waiting for your return. Please take care. ^^

With love, 

Emily. 

P.S. I hope I can meet you in person one day~ It would be pretty awesome.  ^^

Spring's Flowers' Serenade

The wind invites me to dance,

So I joyfully gather my friends too;

This might be our last chance

We might forget the sky’s color blue.

A pretty girl in a summer’s pastel dress

Will want to make us hers

And that’ll happen unless

The rainfall occurs. 

two-thousand-thirteen

Walking home from the diner, I told myself I have to blog about my first sleepover. Strange enough, I started this post but I haven't got much to say? Nevertheless, it was fun. ^^

I got to see fireworks during New Year's~ it was pretty and not as loud as I remember it to be.